Beaucoup d'Updates

I'm no gawsip BUT...

Apparently, we caused a bit of a rift between Mr. White Horsecock himself and his fat bottom! So word of (cock-filled) mouth finally went round ye olde towne that Mr. WH relentlessly cruises that cesspool craigslist.com for lonely bottoms (and Lord Jaysus knows the Burg has that in abundance!)--and the fat bottom was scared of our good friend AIDSmonster enough to cite irreconcilable differences in their down-low relationship! PSA to the fat bottom: we all know what you are. Please stop pretending that no one identifies your queeny voice just because you're in a position of "power" on this campus.

Speaking of cragslist--Ms. Have-You-Seen-My-Asshole is up to it again! Four postings in as many days! Why you think you can white out your face and be confident no one gon' recognize the rest of your nasty midget ass body? Might want to take off that easily identified jewelry before you post another ad begging to be fucked in any fashion, you trash. Oh, and if you can't find your own asshole (we blew the photo to 400% and couldn't), maybe you shouldn't try and make a top do it. And more from good ol' craigslist M4M forum--we received one particularly salacious response to our fake ad from a curious freshmeat. He's toned but not muscular, tall but not "too tall" and has backne--but he's using a cream for it! He has a fur coat on his ass, but is willing to shave it. Oh, and he's open to dildo play. Sounds like a winner!

In DList news (sort of a facebook for faggots, but with sexual position and pr0n), another closet case was discovered. He's a big hungry bottom...with a lovely girlfriend! A friend of a friend confronted him about it, and the profile was down within a day. Wonder if the girlfriend has a handy strap-on!

Awlso--good friend Blackout Bottom has done it again! Twice in two weeks! He be stealing all the damn DC tops! Step off bitch before we steal your hurrls back!

What else my dahlings?

OH MY GOD. One of the Truest Sluts of campus got wasted and jerked off on webcam for an anonymous source. We all saw the video rip, queef, so don't think you fooling anyone! PS-your dick is not as fierce as we expected for all the bottoms you surreptitiously be snatching up!

One of our own rank has a new top. We need not go into that little detail, but just know that he has been spotted around campus in the company of someone suspiciously resembling Rumer Willis! *wretches* Oh. And the top has another friend who eyefucks every faggot in his closet-case-induced tunnel vision. Note to closet faggots--do not wear girl pants, horn-rimmed glasses, and THEN eyefucks our queens. We could let the emo attire slide along with your supposed heterosexuality, but the minute you lock eyes with we, it ALL over.

Various updates on FEV:

Queen = Queef = Quaff = Coiffure. Any of the listed work, but be sure to watch your intonation or you'll sound like sum dum quaff.

Fierce/Tranny/Hot Mess were NOT coined by Christian Siriano. We love the queen, but if any of us hear that we "stole" the words from him again, be prepared to have your fat ass sprayed with mace, and then beaten with our goddamn hurrls.

Sick/Sack/Seck are slowly fading. Feel free to revive them. Tru sick or So sick are still glimmering with life.

Feminizing male names is still truly tru. Specifically in use on straight men--make sure to say it with a particularly queeny flick of the wrist and watch as the tops flee like meerkats!

Oh--and if you hear that Brit-obsessed freshmeat (you all know who he is) trying to out-fierce the Tranny Trio, feel free to stop him in his tracks--which should be easy enough considering he only travels with a flock of vagina anywhere he goes. It's not gonna happen, queen. Learn to respect your elders before you see what a damn angry mob of faggots looks like!

Much (faux) love for now, dahlings! Stay tru.

Sum Dum Quaff: Part Twat

FlippedBinary: Hey creepy little girl, you wanna be my new baybuh?
IAmADumbSlutte: who are you
FlippedBinary: Romy.
IAmADumbSlutte: how did you get my AIM adress
FlippedBinary: You messaged me a week or so ago.
FlippedBinary: Being creepy and stalkerish.
IAmADumbSlutte: oh lol you thought i was a stalker
IAmADumbSlutte: thats right
FlippedBinary: I mean, by definition, you were.
IAmADumbSlutte: lol all i wanted was to be a friend i have a bf
FlippedBinary: I really hope that wasn't a picture of you.
IAmADumbSlutte: why would hope that
FlippedBinary: I dunno, that picture looks like an extra from Cocoon.
IAmADumbSlutte: from what
FlippedBinary: Cocoon.
IAmADumbSlutte: ???
FlippedBinary: I'm sorry, do you not speak English?
IAmADumbSlutte: so your saying if that was me i am ugly
FlippedBinary: 日本語はどうですか?
IAmADumbSlutte: what
IAmADumbSlutte: i am asking
FlippedBinary: And it's "you're", for the record.
IAmADumbSlutte: oh whatever
IAmADumbSlutte: i am not in school i dont care and i am not writing and essay or a paper
FlippedBinary: Haha, "Your" obviously not in school.
IAmADumbSlutte: what did you want
FlippedBinary: I wanted to know who's Dlist you used to find me.
IAmADumbSlutte: lol i dont even remember
FlippedBinary: Hmm, but it was a friend wasn't it?
IAmADumbSlutte: no friends brother
FlippedBinary: So, you do know who's it was.
FlippedBinary: Liar and a stalker.
FlippedBinary: Surprise, surprise.
IAmADumbSlutte: oh whatever
IAmADumbSlutte: your getting blocked again
FlippedBinary: Haha, again?
FlippedBinary: Fabulous
IAmADumbSlutte: yeah most people i can unblock cause they dont bother to message me back
FlippedBinary: I take it you scare people off frequently then?
IAmADumbSlutte: no these are guys that have scared me off
IAmADumbSlutte: threatend me
IAmADumbSlutte: and basicly just want me for sex
FlippedBinary: Threatened to spray you with Raid?
IAmADumbSlutte: no to find me and come after me
FlippedBinary: They wanted to come after you?
FlippedBinary: And use you for sex?
IAmADumbSlutte: yeah
IAmADumbSlutte: basicly because i told him i had a bf and didnt want to go out with him
FlippedBinary: Was he blind?
IAmADumbSlutte: he came to me and was like hi hottie
FlippedBinary: Or did you just not send a picture?
IAmADumbSlutte: would you stop being a bitch
IAmADumbSlutte: it would be nice
FlippedBinary: I mean, if you'd stop lying to me, sure.
IAmADumbSlutte: i am not lying
IAmADumbSlutte: honest
FlippedBinary: But you don't remember your friend's brother?
IAmADumbSlutte: no
IAmADumbSlutte: i went on there once
IAmADumbSlutte: to look up my friends brother and see if anyone and well i found you and well i havent bothered to try anyone else so i havent been back on
FlippedBinary: A likely story.
IAmADumbSlutte: why would i lie
IAmADumbSlutte: what do i have to hide
FlippedBinary: Looking like that, scientists might want to study the missing link.
IAmADumbSlutte: honestly i have nothing to hide i told you everything
IAmADumbSlutte: if you dont want to believe me thats up to you
FlippedBinary: So send me a real picture.
IAmADumbSlutte: that was one
FlippedBinary: Really?
IAmADumbSlutte: yes
FlippedBinary: Because I mean, you told me at first that you were a girl.
FlippedBinary: And later, that you were a guy.
FlippedBinary: Honestly, I can understand your confusion.
IAmADumbSlutte: i am a girl
IAmADumbSlutte: who is 18
FlippedBinary: And not a guy?
IAmADumbSlutte: no
FlippedBinary: Like you said you were?
IAmADumbSlutte: when did i say i was a guy
IAmADumbSlutte: i honestly dont think i said that
IAmADumbSlutte: i might have said i act more like a guy and dont do as many girly things
IAmADumbSlutte: i like to fish and boat and hike and camp and stuff
IAmADumbSlutte: no that would have been really weird if i was a guy
IAmADumbSlutte: lol asking for like a friend and stuff especially with the older brother stuff and about matt and
FlippedBinary: Riiiiight.
FlippedBinary: Matt.
IAmADumbSlutte: yeah my friend who committed suicide
IAmADumbSlutte: he hanged himself
FlippedBinary: That's too bad.
IAmADumbSlutte: yeah
FlippedBinary: So, because you suffered a tragedy.
FlippedBinary: You stalk random gay guys online.
IAmADumbSlutte: lol i dont stalk em
FlippedBinary: After hacking in to someone's Dlist account.
FlippedBinary: To make friends.
FlippedBinary: With gay guys that you don't know.
IAmADumbSlutte: no i didnt even hack into someones account
IAmADumbSlutte: ugh
IAmADumbSlutte: you dont understand
FlippedBinary: Obviously not.
IAmADumbSlutte: i just looked up one person my their name
IAmADumbSlutte: on there
FlippedBinary: That sentence makes so sense at all.
IAmADumbSlutte: ok look my friends brother i looked him up by whatever his screen name is on there and then i like clicked his friends and then like a friend of his friend and saw you and just yeah it was risky yeah i regret it
IAmADumbSlutte: i mean my guy friends they are all i have especially the older ones they are like the father i wish i had
IAmADumbSlutte: because my dad is a alcoholic who is abusive
IAmADumbSlutte: ok bye