Beaucoup d'Updates

I'm no gawsip BUT...

Apparently, we caused a bit of a rift between Mr. White Horsecock himself and his fat bottom! So word of (cock-filled) mouth finally went round ye olde towne that Mr. WH relentlessly cruises that cesspool craigslist.com for lonely bottoms (and Lord Jaysus knows the Burg has that in abundance!)--and the fat bottom was scared of our good friend AIDSmonster enough to cite irreconcilable differences in their down-low relationship! PSA to the fat bottom: we all know what you are. Please stop pretending that no one identifies your queeny voice just because you're in a position of "power" on this campus.

Speaking of cragslist--Ms. Have-You-Seen-My-Asshole is up to it again! Four postings in as many days! Why you think you can white out your face and be confident no one gon' recognize the rest of your nasty midget ass body? Might want to take off that easily identified jewelry before you post another ad begging to be fucked in any fashion, you trash. Oh, and if you can't find your own asshole (we blew the photo to 400% and couldn't), maybe you shouldn't try and make a top do it. And more from good ol' craigslist M4M forum--we received one particularly salacious response to our fake ad from a curious freshmeat. He's toned but not muscular, tall but not "too tall" and has backne--but he's using a cream for it! He has a fur coat on his ass, but is willing to shave it. Oh, and he's open to dildo play. Sounds like a winner!

In DList news (sort of a facebook for faggots, but with sexual position and pr0n), another closet case was discovered. He's a big hungry bottom...with a lovely girlfriend! A friend of a friend confronted him about it, and the profile was down within a day. Wonder if the girlfriend has a handy strap-on!

Awlso--good friend Blackout Bottom has done it again! Twice in two weeks! He be stealing all the damn DC tops! Step off bitch before we steal your hurrls back!

What else my dahlings?

OH MY GOD. One of the Truest Sluts of campus got wasted and jerked off on webcam for an anonymous source. We all saw the video rip, queef, so don't think you fooling anyone! PS-your dick is not as fierce as we expected for all the bottoms you surreptitiously be snatching up!

One of our own rank has a new top. We need not go into that little detail, but just know that he has been spotted around campus in the company of someone suspiciously resembling Rumer Willis! *wretches* Oh. And the top has another friend who eyefucks every faggot in his closet-case-induced tunnel vision. Note to closet faggots--do not wear girl pants, horn-rimmed glasses, and THEN eyefucks our queens. We could let the emo attire slide along with your supposed heterosexuality, but the minute you lock eyes with we, it ALL over.

Various updates on FEV:

Queen = Queef = Quaff = Coiffure. Any of the listed work, but be sure to watch your intonation or you'll sound like sum dum quaff.

Fierce/Tranny/Hot Mess were NOT coined by Christian Siriano. We love the queen, but if any of us hear that we "stole" the words from him again, be prepared to have your fat ass sprayed with mace, and then beaten with our goddamn hurrls.

Sick/Sack/Seck are slowly fading. Feel free to revive them. Tru sick or So sick are still glimmering with life.

Feminizing male names is still truly tru. Specifically in use on straight men--make sure to say it with a particularly queeny flick of the wrist and watch as the tops flee like meerkats!

Oh--and if you hear that Brit-obsessed freshmeat (you all know who he is) trying to out-fierce the Tranny Trio, feel free to stop him in his tracks--which should be easy enough considering he only travels with a flock of vagina anywhere he goes. It's not gonna happen, queen. Learn to respect your elders before you see what a damn angry mob of faggots looks like!

Much (faux) love for now, dahlings! Stay tru.