I would do anything for ... a ham sandwich?

Hello little dahlings! Now I'm no gossip but it has been rumored that Mr. Campbells Soup himself has got a little thing for the older gents. Overheard spilling his secrets at the cesspool of the Grind (WM replica of Sodom and Gomorrah), Mr. Campbell was seen cavorting himself this weekend with a 38 year old true mans cab driver from Norfolk! He ain't a sailor! Taking a tip from two- dinners, he didn't sell himself short- HE GOT A HAM SANDWICH OUT OF THE DEAL! Truly SACK- his UC swipes must be running out!
Stay tuned for more updates from this weekend!

She ain't a ho... GAN!

WE all love those trannies, especially when they're right here on campus. TequilaTitties announced her trannylicious status last night over aim talking about her tiny asian feet, saying she can squeeze them into a size 4.5. However betch can only wear flats and sandals because her calves are too diesel for boots- the mark of a true tranny. A TRUE MANS! She ain't Brooke Ho'gan!
In other news, Ms. Scary Gary had an all out confessional tonight. She ain't a ho. She admitted to have fucked Scary Gary the homeless constuction townie at the library tavern at a "rumored to be mo frat" date party the other week. When asked how it was, she replied better than that time in Barratt with my 1L. SECK! 2 words- Jelly Belly?

Lawd

The gossip just keeps pouring in. Rumour has it the the faggle of gays traveling with the Spilipino were afraid to leave her at 110 because she was the only vag there! She wasn't about to be involved in a train drain! Awlso, that fat cow Two Dinners was seen today with a ferocious looking hickey and rug burn on her knee! She didn't get fucked!

So we're back...

A few more updates... it has been confirmed that the true mans he is little randy kyrios is marrying the Bleedsoe in Las Vegas Spring '08. Not to be outdone by Ms. Jamison D herself who plans to seduce the nephew of the sickest fat conservative university founder out there, Bleedsoe is working on being the most thunderous ho of our time. Following in the footsteps of Ms. BritBrit herself (pre KFED) this wedding shall be truly smeg, annulment directly after and all. Direct comment from Ms. meat and cheese "they come free at the law school". Sack!!
AWWWLSO, it has been rumored there is a full out avian war between shirtless JC the martyr herself and the French bird flu carrier Satine De Bouvier. Rumored to have insulted her taste of music at the GAYEST DANCE PARTY EVER, Satine called JC "sack" and said "never to go shirtless again". JC's comment on this has been simple "go back to France and put on some weight". We look forward to more feed for this birdtale.
AWWWLSO it is rumored Ms. 2 dinners cut herself bangs. After drinking a bottle of old seagrams Friday afternoon, the dumb betch cut her hair with fiskars safety scissors only to realise it looked like shit. She claims she aint no Stevie Wonder, but bitch is either blind or so desperate her standards are non existent.

Totes Smeg: Smeg is the new Sick

Okay little dahlings, I'm no gossip but I have some truly fierce news for all you gossip whores out there. I hear from a reliable source that a certain KDR frat boy has contracted a yeast infection. Before being diagnosed, he thought it was the gonorrhea. He says, "I thought it was the gon....again..." Smeg! Rumor has it, he's also uncut which totes means Bleedsoe should get on to making that grilled cheese! Awlso, fiercest dance party in a while occurred Friday night at the opium den known as 1107. Lots of gossip from here. Josh Parasite Hilton took over DJing when some rando was playing shiteous music and he made it truly fierce queens! Rhyanne Two Dinners was seen cavorting with some hot true mans and making out all over the place with her bagina pressed all over him. Smeg! Awlso, XtothehardcoreX was seen being a true TV and wearing a fierce flower print dress! Awlso! That slut, the Spilipino, was seen grinding her snatch all over a truly cute freshmans. He was seen shirtless multiple times and let me tell you dahlings, he was fierce! Rumor has it, they hooked up in Stephan's bed and left him used condoms to shove up his ass later. Upon asking about freshmans' member, Spilipino spilled the sausage casings! I'm no gossip but he's Italian... Awlso, MynameshouldberevolvingdoorsCasino was rumoured to have been left in a cardboard box at Lambo on Friday night! And the following night, she truly woke up in jizz covered sheets at the Pi Phi house! Awlso, Jacob Technoissomuchfiercerthantrance removed that shiteous mullet and replaced it with....a rat-tail? Ugh, learn fashion honeys! Also, just as Madge and JT are planning a fierce collab, there are rumours that Parasite and Blohan are in the works for a studio production remake of Missy's "She's a Bitch" Stay tuned for more fierce gossip!

Update finally

I'm no gossip but I have a shit ton that I'll be posting over the next few days. There is a certain Psi U brother who likes to get pissed on! He ain't a pregnancy test. Sick. Also, I hear that a Les Bos and Ho Mo from Lambda are not only fucking, but dating! Way to deconstruct yourself! Also, I don't think I need to name a name or give a context, considering how much this tidbit is going around, but I'll give you one word: smegma.